the following is an abandoned post that i discovered last month saved as a “draft.” it’s been chilling all by its lonesome for two years i neglected this blog. i don’t know if i was finished or where i might have been going with this but it’s an interesting (to say the least) snapshot of who i was at the time. i definitely see myself in the commingling of insecurity and inquiries, trying to figure out where (and how) i belong. but thank God for growth.
spoiler alert: today, the goal is simply to BE. long, wide, happy, love, light, authentic, me.
picture it. new york city. twenty fifteen….
What do I know? What is it that I know for sure? I keep asking myself this question and trying to answer it honestly because that’s what I’m supposed to write. What I know. I know me. And that sounds super self-involved but it’s true. It’s not though, I swear.
I know that I get insecure and afraid when I have too many eyes on me. And that there’s something inside of me telling me to shine anyway. I know how it feels to be lonely and then beat myself up for feeling that way because I’m an adult and I should be able to not want to ball up and cry about it. I know how amazing it feels to offer unexpected help for just a thank you in return and have that appreciation lift your face from the floor. I know I’m just like everyone else in that I just want to know that I matter.
How do I write about that? How do I make that marketable?